Musings and Prose of Greg Gough

An opportunity to experience my world

Archive for January, 2008

The nightmare comes before the flood

Posted by ggough56 on January 30, 2008

I’m sure there was a nightmare before the great flood. I have no way to prove this, but imagine if you were told something was going to happen that was outside your realm of knowledge, wouldn’t it be the least bit scary and intimidating?

To those who perpetually seek love, but do not find it, I dedicate this blog:

You seek and do not find and it might be the case because you are not seeking something other than yourself and your own poison. Each person makes us believe it’s new. A new body, new soul after all. It’s not true, it’s the same thing over and over again. I’ve seen breakdown happen again and again because people don’t want to change. Now, I’m flattered when someone might take responsibility for my needs over their own. I can tell you that it’s extremely flattering. Mostly when I don’t have to do anything or haven’t done anything in return.

Family is a non-sexual paradox. It should be where the most acceptance, peace, gentleness, kindness and self-control reign. Love is about self-control, did you know? If something takes your self-control, question it. Why do you give it such powers? Family is almost this transcendent form of relating.  It’s a gentle flowing brook, tossed between the rocks, fresh and gentle, peaceful sounds. I want to be that water, that cool, clear water.

I wanna feel it pull me under, darling, until it drops me to my knees
I wanna know that I can find you when I’ve no more eyes to see
Just this cool, clear water running, you’ll come running to me

– B. Raitt

Maybe someday things will look different. I challenge you with one thing. What will you do to provide for the needs of another? What will you do to make sure that their needs are met? Will you offer yourself in flesh? How is it that you will unite with the need of another in order to meet them in fulfillment?

Simple question? You tell me.

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Monogamous Promiscuity

Posted by ggough56 on January 14, 2008

I will only be with you….now

My heart I delicately give in this moment, to you
My body I gratefully offer in this moment, to you

We can be together forever and ensure it lasts that long
Sometimes forever doesn’t last as long

Sometimes forever is illusive because we can’t work through it
I know we can work through it

Sometimes you don’t want to see us through it
Sometimes forever is shortsighted

Sometimes I feel like I’ve given myself to forever and forever
Over and over and over again

Each time I feel cheap, each time I feel used
You are not my people
You are not loved

Who takes back his promiscuious wife?
Who dares to love her as pure as snow?

One by one I give them forever
One by one they come in and out of my bedroom, my safe place

It is only one by one, it is my dignity after all
I did not know it would not last forever
I thought it would, I planned it
What was missing?

My love feels cheap, like money I throw at a hooker
My love feels abused, like a doormat to be stepped on with muddy boots
Why do you cheapen my love?
Why do you not return what I give to you?
Why must you continually give yourself to others, over and over
While I watch?

Why must I take you back?

It causes me to die inside, it causes me to have death inside

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